Can darkness take over you? I say no! That’s not how I felt 3 days ago on Friday. I felt as if darkness and fear were eating me up whole. I felt that I was lost in this world and couldn’t keep going.
Thursday morning, we left for huayllay with OAE (Outdoor Adventure Education). Upon arrival, we went to bed because of time constraints but Friday was a new day and I was ready, I thought. Friday afternoon, the sun hid behind the clouds, while they got darker by the second. I was wearing all black and the wind was hitting hard. Darkness filled everything today: mood, space, mind, body, nature, and more.
Starting to climb, my first safety clip was already 6 meters off the ground; I knew that if I didn’t put this quickdraw on right, I was bound to break a bone. My heart pounded I could only remember my last fall. It was the only thing going through my mind. CLICK. I was done. Going on to the 2nd to last safety hole, I had it right over my head; all I had to do was put in the quickdraw and then the rope. As I reached for the hole with my quickdraw, I could only remember my last 8 meter fall which left a scar on my upper thigh. I felt the stong wind pushing my hands away and felt pressure from those dark clouds. My arms and legs were losing strength. “I’M FALLING, I’M FALLING, I’M FALLING.” I screamed. I fell back first, more than I expected.
I was broken hearted and felt as if I was thrown to the ground. I cant believe I couldn’t do it. I came up with excuses, weather, hands, didn’t have lucky socks, but it all came back to fear and darkness taking over me.
The next day arrived, this time the sun came out, I had lucky socks on and the small breeze refreshed your every step. I saw the wall and said, “I got this”. I started to think on how I did this before. How fear didn’t stop me before. I took a deep breath and had a great time. It was 2nd nature. I finished the wall with fear at the back of my head. I can’t loose sight of fear if not ill just be facing death face to face.
Was it the light? No! It’s all about mentality. We can’t allow out Darkness (negative thought) take over us we have to allow Light (positive thoughts) lead the way. Notice how light doesn’t take over us, that’s because we need to have a 3:1 ratio of light to darkness. For example if I’m climbing and I let light take over. I wont remember what could happen, if I’m not carful. It could be a free ticket to pain or possible death. Imagine a job interview if you don’t look at the bad part you won’t know how you could improve. We need a balance in life to get through it. this weekend has been filled with veery emotion possible for me which made it a great time to take the http://www.positivityratio.com/single.php test which helps you see if negativity is taking over, positivity taking over, or if there’s a balance.
“Its not about the environment its about yourself”
Below you can see a picture of me and some friends in the middle of a storm everything is dark except Percy in his yellow poncho but even those dark time we made it a great experience and had a great time getting through it together.
“No matter how bad it looks, you can always come forward."
Thursday morning, we left for huayllay with OAE (Outdoor Adventure Education). Upon arrival, we went to bed because of time constraints but Friday was a new day and I was ready, I thought. Friday afternoon, the sun hid behind the clouds, while they got darker by the second. I was wearing all black and the wind was hitting hard. Darkness filled everything today: mood, space, mind, body, nature, and more.
Starting to climb, my first safety clip was already 6 meters off the ground; I knew that if I didn’t put this quickdraw on right, I was bound to break a bone. My heart pounded I could only remember my last fall. It was the only thing going through my mind. CLICK. I was done. Going on to the 2nd to last safety hole, I had it right over my head; all I had to do was put in the quickdraw and then the rope. As I reached for the hole with my quickdraw, I could only remember my last 8 meter fall which left a scar on my upper thigh. I felt the stong wind pushing my hands away and felt pressure from those dark clouds. My arms and legs were losing strength. “I’M FALLING, I’M FALLING, I’M FALLING.” I screamed. I fell back first, more than I expected.
I was broken hearted and felt as if I was thrown to the ground. I cant believe I couldn’t do it. I came up with excuses, weather, hands, didn’t have lucky socks, but it all came back to fear and darkness taking over me.
The next day arrived, this time the sun came out, I had lucky socks on and the small breeze refreshed your every step. I saw the wall and said, “I got this”. I started to think on how I did this before. How fear didn’t stop me before. I took a deep breath and had a great time. It was 2nd nature. I finished the wall with fear at the back of my head. I can’t loose sight of fear if not ill just be facing death face to face.
Was it the light? No! It’s all about mentality. We can’t allow out Darkness (negative thought) take over us we have to allow Light (positive thoughts) lead the way. Notice how light doesn’t take over us, that’s because we need to have a 3:1 ratio of light to darkness. For example if I’m climbing and I let light take over. I wont remember what could happen, if I’m not carful. It could be a free ticket to pain or possible death. Imagine a job interview if you don’t look at the bad part you won’t know how you could improve. We need a balance in life to get through it. this weekend has been filled with veery emotion possible for me which made it a great time to take the http://www.positivityratio.com/single.php test which helps you see if negativity is taking over, positivity taking over, or if there’s a balance.
“Its not about the environment its about yourself”
Below you can see a picture of me and some friends in the middle of a storm everything is dark except Percy in his yellow poncho but even those dark time we made it a great experience and had a great time getting through it together.
“No matter how bad it looks, you can always come forward."